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The free market, she lifts you up. And the free market, she smacks you down. But sometimes, when the dollars line up just right, she does both. At the same time. Yes, it's the incredibly rare and ultra-devastating Lifting Smackdown -- a move even the one true eternal champ, Macho Man Randy Savage, couldn't pull off.

But then, the macho-est of savages has got nothing on unbridled capitalism, which frequently enables companies to profit from problems they foster in the first place. Read Next That's the philosophy of Mylan, the creators of EpiPen, the portable device you stab yourself with if you're suffering a life-threatening allergy attack. The problem for Mylan is that people who suffer from potentially lethal allergies tend to do a very good job of avoiding things that might kill them in the first place, thus eliminating their need to stock up on EpiPens. The solution? Run an advertising campaign to convince kids that they don't need to be careful anymore!

You want to shove your whole fist into a beehive like Yogi Bear? You want to slather your privates in peanut butter and roll around naked on an ant nest? Go right ahead! Just make sure you have an EpiPen handy for when your throat starts to close up. The ad was almost immediately pulled, due to a torrent of complaints from parents who had spent their children's entire lives trying to prevent exactly this kind of thinking. But Mylan didn't pull the accompanying blitz of print magazine ads that went with the same campaign -- at least, not until later, when the Office of Prescription Drug Promotion (OPDP) told them to knock it the hell off. Throughout all of this, EpiPen prices remained prohibitively expensive for many who truly need the drug.

But the icing on the deliciously deadly peanut butter cake came later, when employees brought their concerns to the CEO, Robert Coury. He carefully listened to their well-reasoned complaints, then promptly flipped them the double bird and told them all to go fuck themselves. Obviously, with our reputation for both hyperbole and profanity, you're going to assume that last part was a joke. That's literally what Coury did., who tried to be adults about the situation: 'Mr. Coury replied that he was untroubled. He raised both his middle fingers and explained, using colorful language, that anyone criticizing Mylan, including its employees, ought to go copulate with themselves. Critics in Congress and on Wall Street, he said, should do the same.

And regulators at the Food and Drug Administration? They, too, deserved a round of anatomically challenging self-fulfillment.'

See, writing like that is why we need journalists more than ever. Subscribe today! Micromax 3g Modem Driver For Windows 7 more. Swedish company Niconovum AB, which sells nicotine sprays and pouches in Europe under the Zonnic brand, have expanded into the American market in recent years with its nicotine gum, which is sold in smaller packages for less than a pack of cigarettes. The goal is to compete with big names like Nicorette, which usually sells its gum in packages costing more than $10 a pop. You might know this noble company by another name, however: And a look at the rest of their product line shows us that they're the second-largest tobacco company in the USA.

In case you're wondering why the hell a tobacco company would back a method for quitting tobacco, it does make. See, despite rapidly decreasing sales, tobacco companies aren't really suffering (yet) because they rely on an aging population of hardcore addicts who stubbornly refuse to succumb to fatal tumors. The lost revenue from young people failing to take up the habit is offset by constantly hiking the price of cigarettes, because more seasoned addicts are willing to pay anything. And because quitting attempts come with the territory, tobacco companies can keep their bottom line steady by controlling that industry as well.